Wes Welker vs Frodo Baggins: the Committee for Who Wins Returns

Glad we’re done with all those World Cup power ranking columns. Booo-Riiiing! Are we wrong? Sure, we were head over heads in love with that particular — what was it again? riiiiight — international ’soccer’ competition while it was happening but some two weeks removed, we couldn’t tell a corner-kick from a kick in the … Continue reading

Best Scandal of 2009: A-Rod, Ramirez, Vick

If you honestly thought this was going to anyone other than Tiger Woods, I don’t really know what to say to you. The bombshell Thanksgiving revelation that everyone’s favorite athlete was sleeping with a myriad of women (including pornstar Holly Sampson) who were not his wife shook this nation to the core and made people … Continue reading

New England Patriots Grow Bored of “Dynasty,” Decide to Dabble in “Defeat” – AP

The aughts may have been the decade of sports dominance for New England. This decade may be the era of sucking. The Ravens soundly spanked the Patriots this weekend in a game that was actually over in the first quarter (where the score was Ravens: 27, Pats: a very, very round number). Perhaps Pats Nation … Continue reading

The Indianapolis Colts v. History (i.e. the New England Patriots)

All of America – including our team here at Venuist – has been cracking jokes at poor Jim Caldwell’s expense these past few days.  We even ran a fake story comparing the Colts’ organizational caution (some would and have called it err, cowardice) against the Patriots batshit crazy play calling back in Indy in November … Continue reading

Honest, officer, I was just giving this young lady a ride home.

    As if we couldn’t get enough of the Patriots, AP is reporting that Robert Sormanti, 47, of Warwick, RI was among 14 people arrested in a sex sting. He also happens to be among the many folks to suit up as Pat Patriot, the Pats’ mascot. Most newsworthy of all is that until … Continue reading

The New England Patriots v. Reproductive Health: Hank v. Baron, 1st Ed.

What the hell happened? Brady gets injured terribly. The Pats follow up an undefeated regular season with a huge Super Bowl loss. This year’s been marred by questionable calls by Lord Belichick. Is the Pats’ luster gone, shattered like so much lamp on scalp? Or is this simply a lull? To glean further insight, I decided to debate a great, analytical mind with a penchant for pedantry and a love for the sound of his own voice: Hank Baron.

DreckTV Sunday Ticket, Monday Morning Hangover…

    Having NFL Sunday Ticket in a bar is one thing… Ya gotta put asses in the seats. I understand that. Football makes people thirstier than a bag of salt. And you never know when Joe Blow from Minnesota is gonna walk in the door and need to watch his team from across the … Continue reading