Mets to Build Weather Control Tower for Citi Field

It was the bottom of the 9th Inning, with the Mets trailing by one, and Jason Bay at the plate. With a single swing he sent the ball high and deep into left field. But instead of going out, a strong breeze grabbed the ball and corralled it, keeping it within the confines of the … Continue reading

"Why the Red Sox (sigh…) Suck": One Exile's Boston Baseball Update

[[From my outpost of exile in New York City.]] So, sure, the Mets might have won in 20, but how did those last few days of Boston sports furor feel? Sox, Celts, Bruins (see also: bears), oh my! [[Open Note to Mets’ Team Leadership Forum: if you continue to pie-in-the-face every rookie (cough Ike cough … Continue reading

"I Love that Dirty Water": Dueling Red Sox Predictions for 2010

Yesterday, the New York Times, in their infinite wisdom, printed dueling reviews of the new Apple (don’t call us a computer company) iPad. The review was prefaced as a two-parter with the first section addressed to techies — a slam — was followed up with one addressed to those bereft of technical knowledge. The second … Continue reading

Red Sox to Trade Lowell to NBC Late Night for Conan O’Brien – AP Reports

[[Burbank, CA – 1/12/2010]] In a move arguably without historic precedent, the Boston Red Sox organization today agreed in principal to send Mike Lowell to the West Coast Headquarters of NBC/Universal in exchange for Conan O’Brien and the rights to “The Tonight Show” name. News of the agreed transaction broke today in the form of a … Continue reading

Stat of the Day! Adrian Beltre vs Carlos Beltran

This just in from our friends at The Boson Globe: Also, “Carlos Beltran and Adrian Beltre each has had 6,877 plate appearances. Beltre has 1,700 hits, Beltran has 1,705. Beltre has 348 doubles, Beltran 340. Beltran has struck out 1,086 times, Beltre 1,084 times. Beltre is a lifetime .270 hitter with 250 homers and 906 RBIs. … Continue reading

Papelbon’s Brain, Self Confirmed to be Separate Entities – AP

    Fresh off the wire. Red Sox closer and Mississippian Jonathan Papelbon’s brain exists as a separate entity from his body. This was first revealed (reviled?) during an interview with ESPN’s Gordon Edes. When asked about a new contract with Boston Papelbon stated, “Heck yeah, as far as what me and my brain are thinking.” … Continue reading

Baseball Notes from Around the Web: “The Tools of Ignorance”

[[Editor’s Note: Welcome back to Venuist’s new baseball notes column.  Sorry, we tried to get Gammons but NESN blew our bid out of the water when Jerry Remy threw in his personal “Wally: The Green Monster” beanie baby to close the deal.]] More odds than ends… Jason Bay began his long marriage of hitting warning … Continue reading

Red Sox to sell Mike Lowell as a Mail Order Husband – Reuters

    After being returned to the Red Sox from the Texas Rangers, a Connecticut family, the San Fransisco Giants, The Wu Tang Clan, and most recently Scott Boras Corp., the Red Sox have successfully moved Mike Lowell via the website: mailorderhusbands.net/order/ The Red Sox will be picking up Lowell’s full salary, but will be receiving a check … Continue reading

Red Sox Closer Jon Papelpon is Certifiably Infreakingsane – ESPN

    Unbelievably interesting piece posted on the ESPN Boston blogs today.  You can read the redacted or full versions, depending on your preference.  I recommend the bullet points as the long version  is just one of Gordon Edes (he and Shaughnessy anchored out the old blow-hards section of Sports Section during The Boston Globe‘s … Continue reading

Red Sox Trade Mike Lowell plus $9M to Scott Boras for Adrian Beltre – AP

    [BASEBALL UNIVERSE, CA] The Baseball Universe was rocked yet again today by the announcement that the Boston Red Sox had agreed to trade Mike Lowell and his expiring contract to self-styled “super-agent” – and destroyer of worlds – Scott Boras.  Scott Boras is located somewhere in California we think so that will mean not … Continue reading