Top 10 Owners, Coaches/Managers, and GMs we’d Want to Grab a Beer With: Team Voices Survey

In each political cycle, one of the mainstream (see also: fatally flawed; dumb; malaise-d) media’s favorite straw polls is to ask prospective voters which of the major candidate’s in any particular election that they would prefer to have a “beer with.” Bah. As much as it might be cool to catch up with the world’s … Continue reading

Offseason Blues: Seizures, Debts, Twitter, and 2014!

Feature Story: The Super Bowl comes to New York (NJ)! 2014 may be the first snowy Super Bowl ever. At the very least it will be much colder than usual. Peyton Manning, king of controlled weather conditions, has endorsed the move, so it must be fair. In related news Tampa continues to bitch that they … Continue reading

Jerry Jones Hates Sushi

On Tuesday, a video of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones making demeaning remarks about Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow, turned up on Deadspin. In the video Jones says that both of them ain’t doggy-doody, Tebow for being an unplayable draft pick, and Parcells for…well I’m not really sure why anyone would say that about Parcells, … Continue reading

The Peoples' Champ, 2009: Manning, Jeter, Crosby, Bryant, etc.

Winner: Peyton Manning/QB/Indianapolis Colts 2009 should forever cement Peyton Manning’s legacy as a big-game quarterback and, perhaps, as the all-time the master of his position. Gone are the days when we would assume that Manning would choke in crucial games with victory nearly in hand. With the Colts’ recent victory on December 23, Manning and … Continue reading

Packers, Jets fans to Brett Favre: “Aahahahahahahahahah” – AP

The Green Bay Packers were eliminated from this season’s NFL playoffs two weeks ago in a thrilling offensive spectacle. The New York Jets, for their part, were dealt a heartbreaking loss when they fell in he AFC Championship Game this Sunday to the Indianapolis Colts.  Despite these facts, the spirit of both fan bases was … Continue reading

The Indianapolis Colts v. History (i.e. the New England Patriots)

All of America – including our team here at Venuist – has been cracking jokes at poor Jim Caldwell’s expense these past few days.  We even ran a fake story comparing the Colts’ organizational caution (some would and have called it err, cowardice) against the Patriots batshit crazy play calling back in Indy in November … Continue reading

Colts’ Caldwell to Patriots’ Belichick, “Your move, Bill” – AP

[[Indianapolis, IN – December 28, 2009]] The Colts dream-like run at a perfect NFL season may be over, but for rookie head coach Jim Caldwell, the true test may have just begun. “Yes,” he said, answering the incessant questions of  a gaggle of reporters today at the Colts training complex, “I understand the frustration of … Continue reading

DreckTV Sunday Ticket, Monday Morning Hangover…

    Having NFL Sunday Ticket in a bar is one thing… Ya gotta put asses in the seats. I understand that. Football makes people thirstier than a bag of salt. And you never know when Joe Blow from Minnesota is gonna walk in the door and need to watch his team from across the … Continue reading