LeBron(TM) Plans to Take the Fight to Your Home

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“Don’t think for one minute that I haven’t been keeping mental notes of everyone taking shots at me this summer. And I mean everyone.” This gem of a quote from LeBron(TM)’s Twitter feed has had the Tweet-o-sphere all a flutter. The words are ominous, and the intention behind them vague. I decided to go to … Continue reading

Cursed LeBron Travels to Miami

This article originally published on http://www.venuing.com/voices by YT Crooks. His Highness King LeBron James I of the Dutchy of Akron announced last night, during an hour long TV special rife with poor dialogue, badly choreographed action sequences, and an entirely predictable ending, that he would be joining Dwayne Wade and Chris “Predator” Bosh in Miami. … Continue reading

King James Holds Court

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This post originally from venuing.com/voices. King James will be holding court on Thursday night and has deigned to allow ESPN to broadcast the proceedings as he comes to a final decision as to which team he will sign with. The event will be an hour in length, starting at 9pm EST, during which time LeBron … Continue reading

Blame it on England and Kobe

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The other day a friend of mine, while congratulating me for finally getting into the world’s favorite substitute for war, wondered why the hell North America calls it “soccer” as opposed to football, which is what everyone else calls it. “What is a soccer anyway?” Well, friend, I have looked into this one. Apart from … Continue reading

The NBA Finals: Pre-Game 3 Analysises

The Boston Celtics managed a win over the Los Angeles Lakers in LA to drive the series to 1-1. Brilliant performances by Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo helped lift the Celts past the inspired play of Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol, the gimpyness of Kevin Garnett, and the unnecessarily tight officiating of the officiators. Horrific … Continue reading

Game 2: The NBA Finals vs. Adam Sandler’s Nips

BOSTON — The NBA Finals began right under my nose. I completely missed Game 1, which probably worked out for the best. I would have been riding a high of excessive hometown pride and may have made a few stupid bets. Owing more money to unsavory con-men isn’t something I need—I already owe Verizon a … Continue reading

The Boston Celtics v. Mole-People Referee Masseuses

Bah. This laziness must be overcome. It’s not like there isn’t anything to write about. For one thing, the Celtics pulled off a 4-2 series win over the Magic. The win is impressive if you were actually nervous the Magic stood a chance to catch up. All the same, Boston did have reason to be anxious. While difficult to pull off, these against the wall rallies have happened, once by Boston (the Sox-Yanks 2004 playoffs, which led to the biggest choke in baseball history) and another to Boston (the Bruins being the Bruins).

The One vs. The Many

Last night Kobe Bryant had an amazing game, with 38 points and 10 assists. So maybe that last sentence was a bit of an understatement. Either way, he was brilliant, but that didn’t stop the Suns from winning. How did Phoenix manage? One word (with a hyphen): back-ups. The Suns’ bench outscored the Lakers’ bench … Continue reading

Wilson Chandler: Exhibit A as to Why LeBron Should Come to NY

Forgive the simplicity of this article. I am writing from my smartphone. Droid actually does. On to my thesis: Wilson Chandler will make an excellent P.I.C. for LeBron James. At 6’8″ with superb athleticism (just ask Josh Smith who had his game-winning dunk attempt denied by the Knicks’ small forward), Chandler, when assertive, is an … Continue reading

LeBron Makes Ransom Demand: Mike Brown's Job

Last night the Cleveland Cavaliers fired coach Mike Brown. While it’s true that the Cavs were embarrassed by the Celtics, losing by 50 points in the last two games of the series, and that Brown has never led the team to an NBA title, Cleveland has been to the play-offs every year during the course … Continue reading