Medvedev to Russia: Win more medals… OR ELSE.

After having some time to think it over, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev came to the conclusion that inventing Olympic medals is cold comfort for faring worse than previous years in said games. The Russians left Vancouver with fifteen medals (three of them gold), coming in 11th place overall against other nations. Several of Russia’s top … Continue reading

Evgeni Viktorovich Plushenko IS figure skating!

The previously reported Men’s Figure Skating Pout-A-Thon continues… There’s an old proverb that has been at the heart of Russian culture: “In Soviet Russia, medal makes you!” And seeing as how the medal makes the man, Evngi Evenge Evgeni Plushinenko Plusn Plushie decided winning Silver in Men’s Figure Skating was not good enough. Mostly brushing it … Continue reading

Evgeni Viktorovich Plushenko IS figure skating!

I, for one, cannot say I’m shocked by such effrontery. We are talking about a sport that involves dudes dancing around on ice to Enya songs. Yes, it’s difficult and takes practice, but so does… I dunno… quilting. You don’t see grandma lobbying the IOC to make quilting an Olympic sport, do you? No, of course you don’t. Because grandma quilts on in quiet dignity; the same quiet dignity on display when she found out grandpa was screwing around behind her back for eighteen non-consecutive years of their forty year marriage, yet said nothing for the sake of their ungrateful children.

Lysacek “Upsets” Plushenko, Russian Pout-a-thon Ensues

Not since 1988 has an American male figure skater won gold at the Olympics, but last night Evan Lysacek upset heavily favored Evgeni Plushenko to stand atop the three-tiered podium.  In a routine that was about performance over flair, Lysacek showed that Plushenko’s bullying words had no effect on him, and that figure-skating is not … Continue reading