Minnesota’s ‘Hard Knocks’

This post originally on http://www.venuing.com/voices The New York Jets have their own TV show, but maybe the Minnesota Vikings are more deserving. Brett Favre’s annual retirement waffling would likely prove more suspensful and dramatic than Survivor, The Bachelorette, or even MILF Island. The roadtrip adventures of Ryan Longwell, Jared, Allen, and Steve Hutchinson would be … Continue reading

Favre Watch: Number 4 Returneth to the Northeth

The Minnesota Vikings sent a strike team composed of Steve Hutchinson, Jared Allen, and Ryan Longwell to kidnap Brett Favre and bring him up north for the 2010 campaign. “Hain’t no way Tavaris Jackson is going to be our starting QB,” said coach Brad Childress. “It just hain’t gon happen. I’d rather have the forty … Continue reading

Special Guest Op-ed Contributor, Brett Favre: Why I am ‘Fun-retiring’

This article originally written by Brett Favre for http://www.venuing.com/voices. How y’all doing, Favre here. NO! It’s pronounced FAR-uvveh. Or you can call me Captain Touchdown, if you must. Or just “yo Brett!” Gotta admit, I kinda partial to “yo Brett” or like, “Your Honor”. Whatever, you get me America, we are straight. I’d like to … Continue reading

Vikings to Meet with Tomlinson on Thursday in an Attempt to Become Ancient

The Minnesota Vikings are preparing to meet with LaDanian Tomlinson (recently dropped by the Chargers) on Thursday in an attempt to persuade him to move from the beaches and babes of SoCal to the frozen wastelands of the north known for their wampa ice beasts and operatic valkyries. Tomlinson, who is 30 years old (or … Continue reading

Favre Makes No Committments on Tonight Show – AP Reports

Brett Favre was non-committal in his appearance on the Tonight Show about whether or not he would return to football. He is apparently still suffering night tremors from his last haunting interception to the Saints, which may make him too emotionally unstable to return. However, coach Brad Childress says that Favre will have as much … Continue reading

Favre-Watch 2010 Beginneth! – AP Reports

It’s the NFL off-season? Let the Favre Watch begin! Possibly more entertaining and relevant than the NFL Draft, Favre Watch follows the waffling decision making process of Brett Favre as he decides whether or not to retire and entices teams away from pursuing young talent and instead going after a cyborg who’s best stat is … Continue reading

America to Vikings’ Brett Favre, “we’re moving on” – AP

In a stunning turn of events, America has informed Brett Favre that it is “moving on” from the once-beloved icon of sports. Favre, the Minnesota Vikings’ first string quarterback and a lightning rod for ugly controversy, was informed of America’s intentions late Monday night, December 28th, after his team fell in overtime to the Chicago … Continue reading