Wes Welker vs Frodo Baggins: the Committee for Who Wins Returns

Glad we’re done with all those World Cup power ranking columns. Booo-Riiiing! Are we wrong? Sure, we were head over heads in love with that particular — what was it again? riiiiight — international ’soccer’ competition while it was happening but some two weeks removed, we couldn’t tell a corner-kick from a kick in the … Continue reading

2,777 Innings for Wakefield, and Ellsbury Is Still Injured

Yesterday was an historic day for Tim Wakefield who passed Roger Clemens as the pitcher with the most innings pitched as a Red Sock. [Is that the correct spelling? I’m unsure about the singular form of “Sox”.] Wakefield pitched has now pitched one more inning than Clemens as a member of the Red Sox with … Continue reading

The Boston Celtics v. Mole-People Referee Masseuses

Bah. This laziness must be overcome. It’s not like there isn’t anything to write about. For one thing, the Celtics pulled off a 4-2 series win over the Magic. The win is impressive if you were actually nervous the Magic stood a chance to catch up. All the same, Boston did have reason to be anxious. While difficult to pull off, these against the wall rallies have happened, once by Boston (the Sox-Yanks 2004 playoffs, which led to the biggest choke in baseball history) and another to Boston (the Bruins being the Bruins).

Reflections from the Caribbean: Let them eat dope

This past week I was in a state of near-total lethargy. Things like this happen when you’re on a cruise. News was the heinous representation of the real world myself and 3,000 other untanned corpulent people onboard were avoiding like norovirus. The best we could do with keeping up was the big screen on the … Continue reading

Red Sox Roundup: "Nothing's Gonna Get in the Way of Whatever it Takes"

The “Boston Red Sox” Ohhhkay. Somebody cue the sound of brass tacks and chases being cut to. “We are who we thought we are” or something. Ah yes, but remember a month ago when I handicapped the Sox under the general rubric of “boy, these guys blow”? Well, I’ve changed my tune. Sort of. After … Continue reading

Yankees Protesting: Hell No, We Won't Go!

The New York Yankees are protesting their 7-6 loss to the Boston Red Sox on the grounds that no indication was given that pitcher Josh Beckett was injured when he left the game. Since Beckett was presumed injured, reliever Manny Delcarmen had as much time as he needed to warm up. To be fair, at … Continue reading

Red Sox & AL Baseball Review: The Tools of Ignorance Returns

Sorry folks, I’ve been sound asleep in the clubhouse with Junior so far this season. But 33 problems is back… if you’ll have me. The real reason I’ve been MIA is every time I would start to write about my beloved Red Sox I ended up smashing my keyboard or trying to light some part … Continue reading

Wakefield's 2000th Strikeout

Yesterday Tim Wakefield reached a milestone in pitching, striking out Vernon Davis for his 2,000th career K. Rearing back, he blew the pitch past Davis at over 90 mph…no, sorry that wasn’t Wakefield. Painting the outside corner, Davis was frozen by the biting movement of the pitch…no, no that’s not him either. Wakefield lazily wafted … Continue reading

Mets to Build Weather Control Tower for Citi Field

It was the bottom of the 9th Inning, with the Mets trailing by one, and Jason Bay at the plate. With a single swing he sent the ball high and deep into left field. But instead of going out, a strong breeze grabbed the ball and corralled it, keeping it within the confines of the … Continue reading

Ortiz Decides Hermida Should Get A Chance

This past Tuesday, David Ortiz decided that it was time for someone else to have a little bit of the heroic limelight. With the bases loaded and no outs, he gallantly sacrificed one of his own at-bats to ground into a double play, a move he must have calculated to build further drama. All seemed … Continue reading