Top 10 Owners, Coaches/Managers, and GMs we’d Want to Grab a Beer With: Team Voices Survey

In each political cycle, one of the mainstream (see also: fatally flawed; dumb; malaise-d) media’s favorite straw polls is to ask prospective voters which of the major candidate’s in any particular election that they would prefer to have a “beer with.” Bah. As much as it might be cool to catch up with the world’s … Continue reading

Best Scandal of 2009: A-Rod, Ramirez, Vick

If you honestly thought this was going to anyone other than Tiger Woods, I don’t really know what to say to you. The bombshell Thanksgiving revelation that everyone’s favorite athlete was sleeping with a myriad of women (including pornstar Holly Sampson) who were not his wife shook this nation to the core and made people … Continue reading

Patriots Make Bid for [an Orange] Julius, [Stuffed] Peppers – AP reports

As the greater Boston media likes to constantly remind the people of the United States, the New England Patriots may well have the hardest working staff in the National Football League (or as it’s known our many Southern friends: “Fuuht’bawl”). Sometimes the long, cold nights, which blend inevitably into dreary, grey, New England Winter mornings … Continue reading

The Indianapolis Colts v. History (i.e. the New England Patriots)

All of America – including our team here at Venuist – has been cracking jokes at poor Jim Caldwell’s expense these past few days.  We even ran a fake story comparing the Colts’ organizational caution (some would and have called it err, cowardice) against the Patriots batshit crazy play calling back in Indy in November … Continue reading

Colts’ Caldwell to Patriots’ Belichick, “Your move, Bill” – AP

[[Indianapolis, IN – December 28, 2009]] The Colts dream-like run at a perfect NFL season may be over, but for rookie head coach Jim Caldwell, the true test may have just begun. “Yes,” he said, answering the incessant questions of  a gaggle of reporters today at the Colts training complex, “I understand the frustration of … Continue reading

Honest, officer, I was just giving this young lady a ride home.

    As if we couldn’t get enough of the Patriots, AP is reporting that Robert Sormanti, 47, of Warwick, RI was among 14 people arrested in a sex sting. He also happens to be among the many folks to suit up as Pat Patriot, the Pats’ mascot. Most newsworthy of all is that until … Continue reading

The New England Patriots v. Reproductive Health: Hank v. Baron, 1st Ed.

What the hell happened? Brady gets injured terribly. The Pats follow up an undefeated regular season with a huge Super Bowl loss. This year’s been marred by questionable calls by Lord Belichick. Is the Pats’ luster gone, shattered like so much lamp on scalp? Or is this simply a lull? To glean further insight, I decided to debate a great, analytical mind with a penchant for pedantry and a love for the sound of his own voice: Hank Baron.

Whoa. I learned Kung-Fu

    If anyone needs additional proof that we live in the future, you should peruse this wired.com post. Apparently, someone’s managed to figure out a way to read minds electronically. A system that turns brain waves into FM radio signals and decodes them as sound is the first totally wireless brain-computer interface. For now, … Continue reading