Red Sox Trade Lowell to Wu Tang Clan for Ghostface Killah, & a drumloop to be named – AP

“This is just getting ridiculous”, a stunned Mike Lowell said after being informed by his agent that he had been traded from the Boston Red Sox to the Wu Tang Clan for Ghostface Killah and a 4/4 beat to be named later. On becoming the newest member of the Wu Tang Clan, Lowell said, “The what? Is that an expansion team? … Continue reading

GM Theo Epstein Seduced by the ‘Dark Side’ – AP Reports

When reached for comment Dustin Pedroia screamed while looking vaguely like a chipmunk, “That’s not true! That’s impossible!” Pedroia then searched his feelings and found it to be true.

Red Sox Trade Lowell to Giants for Barry Bonds’ Abandoned Lay-Z-Boy – AP

    [[Boston, MA – 12/24/2009]]  In a move arguably without historic precedent, the Boston Red Sox organization today agreed to send Mike Lowell to the San Francisco Giants in exchange for the Lay-Z-Boy brand reclining chair that has been sitting for the previous three seasons, evidently abandoned, in front of Barry Bonds’ former deluxe … Continue reading

Red Sox Trade Lowell to Giants for Barry Bonds' Abandoned Lay-Z-Boy – AP

    [[Boston, MA – 12/24/2009]]  In a move arguably without historic precedent, the Boston Red Sox organization today agreed to send Mike Lowell to the San Francisco Giants in exchange for the Lay-Z-Boy brand reclining chair that has been sitting for the previous three seasons, evidently abandoned, in front of Barry Bonds’ former deluxe … Continue reading

Joe Mauer – Stay Where You Are, a 3-some of Aces & Random & AL notes

Its like the drinking game asshole where you have to give up your best cards to the President and Vice President. The Red Sox and Phillies are the Prez and Vice and the Mets and Angles are the asshole. They have to wear silly hats and get John Henry beer. The Sox and Phills can also make up rules… either this analogy has legs and I’m a genius or I just drink too much.

Joe Mauer bats lefty too

The Venuist is curious as to whether Yankee Stadium (version 2.0, not to be confused with the recently deceased 1.2  version) realizes that Joe Mauer also bats left-handed.  Sure, all summer the Yanks have taken advantage of that short porch (T*V – that’s me – saw this himself his summer) that’s all of three feet … Continue reading