Tools of Ignorance – Red Sox Spring Camp Training Report from 33 Problems

TOI Spring Training Addition. Is it strange that I cared that the Red Sox had a no-no going thru 6 innings in Monday’s game against the Cardinals? I sent a text to my brother and to Venuist and got the following responses: “Dude, Its March” “Awesome. Thank god that counts” Sox went on to lose … Continue reading

MLB Spring Training Cometh! : 33 Problems’ “Tools of Ignorance”

Thomas was great, you never changed the channel or left the room while he was at bat. Even in his last Oakland and Toronto days you knew he could punch one out at any time.

Johnny Damon’s No-Winn Situation

Four years after leaving his post at the Red Sox for a shave and a haircut in New York, it looks like Johnny Damon is going to be hitting up careerbuilder.com pretty soon. Damon was allegedly offered $14 million by the Yanks for another two years, but the formerly bearded one turned it down in … Continue reading

Spring Training Fever: JD Drew Edition!

[[This actual exchange just took place via text between 33 Problems and The Venuist.]] 33 Problems: Going to buy a Drew Jersey this year just to provoke arguments. The Venuist: You should get one with his OPS # on the back.

Stat of the Day! Adrian Beltre vs Carlos Beltran

This just in from our friends at The Boson Globe: Also, “Carlos Beltran and Adrian Beltre each has had 6,877 plate appearances. Beltre has 1,700 hits, Beltran has 1,705. Beltre has 348 doubles, Beltran 340. Beltran has struck out 1,086 times, Beltre 1,084 times. Beltre is a lifetime .270 hitter with 250 homers and 906 RBIs. … Continue reading

Papelbon’s Brain, Self Confirmed to be Separate Entities – AP

    Fresh off the wire. Red Sox closer and Mississippian Jonathan Papelbon’s brain exists as a separate entity from his body. This was first revealed (reviled?) during an interview with ESPN’s Gordon Edes. When asked about a new contract with Boston Papelbon stated, “Heck yeah, as far as what me and my brain are thinking.” … Continue reading

Baseball Notes from Around the Web: “The Tools of Ignorance”

[[Editor’s Note: Welcome back to Venuist’s new baseball notes column.  Sorry, we tried to get Gammons but NESN blew our bid out of the water when Jerry Remy threw in his personal “Wally: The Green Monster” beanie baby to close the deal.]] More odds than ends… Jason Bay began his long marriage of hitting warning … Continue reading

Red Sox to sell Mike Lowell as a Mail Order Husband – Reuters

    After being returned to the Red Sox from the Texas Rangers, a Connecticut family, the San Fransisco Giants, The Wu Tang Clan, and most recently Scott Boras Corp., the Red Sox have successfully moved Mike Lowell via the website: mailorderhusbands.net/order/ The Red Sox will be picking up Lowell’s full salary, but will be receiving a check … Continue reading

Red Sox Closer Jon Papelpon is Certifiably Infreakingsane – ESPN

    Unbelievably interesting piece posted on the ESPN Boston blogs today.  You can read the redacted or full versions, depending on your preference.  I recommend the bullet points as the long version  is just one of Gordon Edes (he and Shaughnessy anchored out the old blow-hards section of Sports Section during The Boston Globe‘s … Continue reading

Red Sox Trade Mike Lowell plus $9M to Scott Boras for Adrian Beltre – AP

    [BASEBALL UNIVERSE, CA] The Baseball Universe was rocked yet again today by the announcement that the Boston Red Sox had agreed to trade Mike Lowell and his expiring contract to self-styled “super-agent” – and destroyer of worlds – Scott Boras.  Scott Boras is located somewhere in California we think so that will mean not … Continue reading