Hey, Olympics!: The Noble Art of Curling

No doubt you, like me, were mesmerized by the thrilling and exhilarating sport of Curling at the recent Winter Olympics in Vancouver, where it probably surpassed the other notable sports of kings; darts and snooker for excitement and edge of the seat play. One could only marvel, drooling from our armchairs, at the athleticism and … Continue reading

Hey Olympics!: Sidney Crosby's Gear Missing

After scoring the game winning goal in overtime against the US hockey team, Sidney Crosby flung his stick and gloves into the air in celebration…and that was the last that anyone has seen of them. When the Hockey Hall of Fame came calling looking for some memorabilia, it found to its dismay that Crosby’s gear … Continue reading

America's Cup: Why Hockey Rules in Canada (and why we just don't get it)

Hey America, Venuist here. You still ballin’? Thought so. Catch that Canada/Team USA cage, err, grudge, err, championship match last weekend at the Olympics? Same here. It was pretty awesome. And here’s why you thought it was awesome, because for around 70 minutes, the best players in the world of hockey (if there is, indeed, … Continue reading

Hey Olympics: Thanks !, To the rest of you fat lazy people, you can have your t.v. back

So we lost the gold medal hockey game, it was a classic for the ages and I’m happy the host nation’s fans got to go out with a bang. Yeah Sidney Crosby put my foot, in my own mouth. I can live with these things. What I can’t live with is people complaining that the … Continue reading

Hey, Olympics!: Women Celebrating? Inconceivable!

After their 2-0 victory over the US, the Canadian Women’s Hockey Team celebrated on the ice of the arena with champaigne, beer, and cigars. And this has launched a media uproar with the unflappable Skip Bayless at the helm, for this form of celebration is most unbecoming for a group of ladies! Really? Get over … Continue reading

Hey, Olympics!: Lindsey Vonn and the SI Curse

The Sports Illustrated Cover Curse has struck again. It’s latest victim: Olympian Lindsey Vonn. Now you, dear reader, may want desperately to point out to me that Mrs. Vonn could not possibly be cursed. “She’s won two medals!” you say in outrage. “And one of them was gold!” Yes, well this is true, but let’s … Continue reading

Hey Olympics!: 'Vancouver-Metrics' or, what's in a Medal anyway?

In honor of, staff-writer, YT Crooks ongoing exploration of advanced baseball statistics, The Venuist has the following thoughts to share on the state of the Vancouver Winter Olympics (or as I like to call them, “those things on television which follow me every where I go like the moon through my Camaro’s t-top on a … Continue reading

Hey, Olympics!: or, One Last Obligatory Figure-Skating Post

The Women’s Figure-Skating Freeskate (or “Long Program” as it used to be called, which actually makes a lot more sense) was last night…and really it was a bunch of yawn. Kim Yu-Na skated beautifully and perfectly cementing herself as Ice Goddess of Olympus. Mao Asada, Kim’s only real competition, tripped and allowed Kim a less-contested … Continue reading

Hey, Olympics!: Canadian Women's Hockey Gold Rush

From the title you would assume this is an article about the Canadian Women’s Hockey team winning gold over the U.S.. Sorry it’s their Y chromosome country mates that I’d like to do a little pondering on. After getting a beat down “Tom Cable” style from the U.S., Team Canada has bounced back in Pamela … Continue reading

Sven Kramer Begins Hunt

After being disqualified from the speed-skating 10K event for following the poor advice of coach Gerard Kemkers, Sven Kramer has decided Kemkers must go. He delivered a note to him last night to the same effect, along with a pair of skates and a message that Kemkers has a night’s headstart in any direction. Witnesses … Continue reading