FIFA Announces That the Result of US v Algeria Already Determined by Refs – AP Reports

The ESPN/ABC sports family remains firmly committed to presenting the very finest in 2010 World Cup coverage. We consider it an honor to cover what is truly the largest, most exciting, and most meaningful spectacle of sports in the world. Even if it is just a fucking soccer tournament.

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The NBA Finals: Pre-Game 3 Analysises

The Boston Celtics managed a win over the Los Angeles Lakers in LA to drive the series to 1-1. Brilliant performances by Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo helped lift the Celts past the inspired play of Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol, the gimpyness of Kevin Garnett, and the unnecessarily tight officiating of the officiators. Horrific … Continue reading

Game 2: The NBA Finals vs. Adam Sandler’s Nips

BOSTON — The NBA Finals began right under my nose. I completely missed Game 1, which probably worked out for the best. I would have been riding a high of excessive hometown pride and may have made a few stupid bets. Owing more money to unsavory con-men isn’t something I need—I already owe Verizon a … Continue reading

The Boston Celtics v. Mole-People Referee Masseuses

Bah. This laziness must be overcome. It’s not like there isn’t anything to write about. For one thing, the Celtics pulled off a 4-2 series win over the Magic. The win is impressive if you were actually nervous the Magic stood a chance to catch up. All the same, Boston did have reason to be anxious. While difficult to pull off, these against the wall rallies have happened, once by Boston (the Sox-Yanks 2004 playoffs, which led to the biggest choke in baseball history) and another to Boston (the Bruins being the Bruins).

The One vs. The Many

Last night Kobe Bryant had an amazing game, with 38 points and 10 assists. So maybe that last sentence was a bit of an understatement. Either way, he was brilliant, but that didn’t stop the Suns from winning. How did Phoenix manage? One word (with a hyphen): back-ups. The Suns’ bench outscored the Lakers’ bench … Continue reading

LeBron James vs. Bruce Wayne: 'The Committee for Who Wins' Returns

Dramatic Preamble: in honor of LeBron’s inglorious meltdown in Game 6 of the NBA Eastern Division Semifinals, we at The Committee for Who Wins thought we’d honor him right back with an inglorious meltdown of our own in this Friday’s edition of TCFWW… Round One: Bruce Wayne’s alter ego is the “Bat-man”. LeBron’s is “Puppet … Continue reading

The Committee For Who Wins: Joe Mauer vs. Roy Hobbs

Round One: In real life Roy Hobbs is played by the charismatic American Icon, Robert Redford. In real life, Joe Mauer is played by Minnesota’s own Joe Mauer. Only people in Minnesota find Joe Mauer to be charismatic. Winner: Roy Hobbs. Round Two: Mauer is an elite defensive catcher who hits for both power and … Continue reading

Senseless Sports Strategy: Subbing Out Players with Foul Trouble

In the process of getting geeked up for Cornell’s game against the much more talented and athletic Kentucky Wildcats, I started thinking of probable game situations and what Steve Donahue has to do to give his team a chance. After praying for the rain gods to bless Ryan Wittman, Louis Dale, and Jon Jaques as … Continue reading

2010 NCAA Tournament Proves Psychics Do Not Exist

Even Miss Cleo’s tarot cards didn’t get this one right. ESPN.com had 4.78 million brackets filled out and not one has all Sweet Sixteen participants. Only four predicted 15 of the final 16 correctly. According to the website’s tournament challenge, none of these entries belong to John Edward, Nostradamus, or Jean Grey. As for myself, … Continue reading

'Nova Avoids Shame: Quasi-March Madness Avoided

Sorry Robert Morris, but Cinderella’s slipper does not extend to size fifteen. A fifteen seed has only advanced four times and each of those teams immediately lost in the second round. Robert Morris could not become the fifth fifteen seed to extend their time at the dance; instead their carriage ride home came early and … Continue reading