Minnesota’s ‘Hard Knocks’

This post originally on http://www.venuing.com/voices The New York Jets have their own TV show, but maybe the Minnesota Vikings are more deserving. Brett Favre’s annual retirement waffling would likely prove more suspensful and dramatic than Survivor, The Bachelorette, or even MILF Island. The roadtrip adventures of Ryan Longwell, Jared, Allen, and Steve Hutchinson would be … Continue reading

Favre Watch: Number 4 Returneth to the Northeth

The Minnesota Vikings sent a strike team composed of Steve Hutchinson, Jared Allen, and Ryan Longwell to kidnap Brett Favre and bring him up north for the 2010 campaign. “Hain’t no way Tavaris Jackson is going to be our starting QB,” said coach Brad Childress. “It just hain’t gon happen. I’d rather have the forty … Continue reading

Bill Leavy Apologizes for ‘06 Super Bowl Officiating

Since Jim Joyce’s tearful apology over a blown call that cost pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, it’s become trendy in America for officials to apologize for their mistakes. Hell, maybe it would have become trendy for World Cup officials to apologize if Sepp Blatter didn’t have them whisked off in the middle of the … Continue reading

Special Guest Op-ed Contributor, Brett Favre: Why I am ‘Fun-retiring’

This article originally written by Brett Favre for http://www.venuing.com/voices. How y’all doing, Favre here. NO! It’s pronounced FAR-uvveh. Or you can call me Captain Touchdown, if you must. Or just “yo Brett!” Gotta admit, I kinda partial to “yo Brett” or like, “Your Honor”. Whatever, you get me America, we are straight. I’d like to … Continue reading

Offseason Blues: The NFL on MTV

The Cincinnati Bengals have just added the latest bad boy to their roster. The infamous Terrell “T.O.” Owens will join fellow dark wizards Cedric Benson, Larry Johnson, and Matt Jones on the field for the Bengals’ 2010 campaign. This was all of course orchestrated by in-house genius Carson Palmer. But possibly more interesting than the … Continue reading

Wes Welker vs Frodo Baggins: the Committee for Who Wins Returns

Glad we’re done with all those World Cup power ranking columns. Booo-Riiiing! Are we wrong? Sure, we were head over heads in love with that particular — what was it again? riiiiight — international ’soccer’ competition while it was happening but some two weeks removed, we couldn’t tell a corner-kick from a kick in the … Continue reading

Offseason Blues: Bankruptcy, Broken Arms, and Boo-Hoos

Feature Story: Lawrence Taylor has been indicted for the rape of a 16 year old girl who he propositioned for sex. Still, the bigger story is that NutriSystem Inc. has dropped Taylor as their spokesperson, following these charges. I suppose such marketing slogans as “Join Lawrence’s Team” or “Lose weight and get back in the … Continue reading

It's Football Time Already?

September 9th. It’s more than just the anniversary of California being admitted into the Union or the date Washington D.C. was formally named that, after our first president George. It’s also the day the fantasy football season begins. Drew Brees and his high powered New Orleans Saints offense will take the field against Adrian Peterson, … Continue reading

Favre Watch 2010: Longwell Speculation

Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has called in a favor from his long time friend, kicker Ryan Longwell, to heighten the drama of his imminent decision. Longwell has stated that he believes there is a fair chance Favre could actually retire, and puts the chances of him returning to him retiring squarely at 50-50. This is … Continue reading

Offseason Blues: Agents, Contracts, and 2nd Chances

Feature Story: Yesterday, Pittsburgh Steelers’ quarterback Ben Roethlisberger told the media that he has been re-evaluating his lifestyle and says that he is excited to have a shot at a second chance. Though never officially charged, Roethlisberger has been accused twice of rape, which has brought great shame on his team and his family (it … Continue reading