Minnesota’s ‘Hard Knocks’
This post originally on http://www.venuing.com/voices The New York Jets have their own TV show, but maybe the Minnesota Vikings are more deserving. Brett Favre’s annual retirement waffling would likely prove more suspensful and dramatic than Survivor, The Bachelorette, or even MILF Island. The roadtrip adventures of Ryan Longwell, Jared, Allen, and Steve Hutchinson would be … Continue reading
Favre Watch: Number 4 Returneth to the Northeth
The Minnesota Vikings sent a strike team composed of Steve Hutchinson, Jared Allen, and Ryan Longwell to kidnap Brett Favre and bring him up north for the 2010 campaign. “Hain’t no way Tavaris Jackson is going to be our starting QB,” said coach Brad Childress. “It just hain’t gon happen. I’d rather have the forty … Continue reading
LeBron(TM) Plans to Take the Fight to Your Home
“Don’t think for one minute that I haven’t been keeping mental notes of everyone taking shots at me this summer. And I mean everyone.” This gem of a quote from LeBron(TM)’s Twitter feed has had the Tweet-o-sphere all a flutter. The words are ominous, and the intention behind them vague. I decided to go to … Continue reading
Special Guest Op-ed Contributor, Brett Favre: Why I am ‘Fun-retiring’
This article originally written by Brett Favre for http://www.venuing.com/voices. How y’all doing, Favre here. NO! It’s pronounced FAR-uvveh. Or you can call me Captain Touchdown, if you must. Or just “yo Brett!” Gotta admit, I kinda partial to “yo Brett” or like, “Your Honor”. Whatever, you get me America, we are straight. I’d like to … Continue reading
Offseason Blues: The NFL on MTV
The Cincinnati Bengals have just added the latest bad boy to their roster. The infamous Terrell “T.O.” Owens will join fellow dark wizards Cedric Benson, Larry Johnson, and Matt Jones on the field for the Bengals’ 2010 campaign. This was all of course orchestrated by in-house genius Carson Palmer. But possibly more interesting than the … Continue reading
Cursed LeBron Travels to Miami
This article originally published on http://www.venuing.com/voices by YT Crooks. His Highness King LeBron James I of the Dutchy of Akron announced last night, during an hour long TV special rife with poor dialogue, badly choreographed action sequences, and an entirely predictable ending, that he would be joining Dwayne Wade and Chris “Predator” Bosh in Miami. … Continue reading
Super Friends: Jeter and Beyond Sport
The Yankees’ shortstop and captain, Derek Jeter, was recently named as one of the newest ambassadors for Beyond Sport. The organization’s stated goal is to promote social change through sports. It annually awards $1 million dollars to sports programs around the world that prove to have a positive impact in their communities. But all of … Continue reading
Favre Watch 2010: Longwell Speculation
Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has called in a favor from his long time friend, kicker Ryan Longwell, to heighten the drama of his imminent decision. Longwell has stated that he believes there is a fair chance Favre could actually retire, and puts the chances of him returning to him retiring squarely at 50-50. This is … Continue reading
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Wes Welker vs Frodo Baggins: the Committee for Who Wins Returns
Posted by venuist on July 26, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Glad we’re done with all those World Cup power ranking columns. Booo-Riiiing! Are we wrong? Sure, we were head over heads in love with that particular — what was it again? riiiiight — international ’soccer’ competition while it was happening but some two weeks removed, we couldn’t tell a corner-kick from a kick in the … Continue reading →
Category Commentary, Football, Jocks, NFL, Venuing · Tagged with Baggins, Boston + Red Sox, Boston Celtics, Brady + Patriots, Dustin Pedroia, Frodo Baggins, hobbits, hobbits + Welker, JRR Tolkien, Julian Edelman, Lord of the Rings, Merry Brandybuck, Nate Robinson, nazgul, New England + Patriots, New England + Welker, NFL, Patriots, Patriots + Tom + Brady, Pedroia, Peregrin Took, Red Sox, Tom Brady, Welker, Welker + Brady, Wes Welker