Bon Soir, 2010 FIFA World Cup!: Final Power Rankings from South Africa

Sometimes all there is to say is: Sadface, sadface, sadface! World…Cup…come…come back! Verily, we hardly knew ye. Hardly. Like comic book shoppe geeks suddenly run out of Fantastic Four serials, “there is no emotocon for what [we] are feeling.” The Venuist hasn’t even been to a sports bar in like, 36 hours and Warning Track … Continue reading

Paul Defeats Mani in Psychic Battle…Also, Spain Wins World Cup

This post originally from http://www.venuing.com/voices. It’s understandable that people watching the World Cup on Sunday may have thought that they were watching two European football powers duking it out for a golden trophy on the African continent. In actuality we were all watching a battle that raged across the psychic hinter-realms. The true combatants: Paul the … Continue reading

Roja vs. Oranje

For those of you living under a rock, Spain have just beaten Zee Germans and propelled themselves into the World Cup final match against the Netherlands. La Furia Roja vs Oranje, a battle of fiery colors. Who will prove to be more combustible in the race for the Cup? For more from this article, go … Continue reading

Brazil Ousted by Oranje

This post originally from Venuing Voices. Brazil’s second best export [for the first see: super models] was sent packing today by the Netherlands in their orange jerseys. Jumping out to an early 1-0 lead, Brazil then gave the Dutch its own equilizer when Felipe Melo headed the ball into his own goal. “You know, I’m … Continue reading

2010 World Cup Football [see also: soccer] Power Rankings: ‘Committee For Who Wins’ takes on Week 3

Hey Venuers, how you doing? Still balling? Thought so… K, so, look. We’re all pretty pissed about this whole “World Cup thing” at this point…. I mean, am I wrong or am I wrong? Not saying the lot of us wouldn’t do the whole thing over again if we could, mind you. Matter of fact, … Continue reading

2010 World Cup-tastrophe – ‘Down and Out in Albion’, or ‘Germany! Germany! Germany!’

Still reeling from the shock and horror of the three lions dismal and depressing performance against Zee Germans on Sunday, I was in full agreement with YT Crooks’ Venuing article regarding “Your Sport has a Serious Fucking Problem.” Bravo Sir! The dinosaur that we know as FIFA is finally actually ‘considering’ goal line technology and … Continue reading

US Eliminated, FIFA Victorious

FIFA unveiled its most devious plan yet to defeat the US: fair officiating. And sadly, it worked. Without the spark of having to overcome immense odds and stolen goals, the US proved horribly ineffective against Ghana. I guess the “never say die attitude” only works when you’re being prevented from winning by outside forces, not … Continue reading

FIFA Announces That the Result of US v Algeria Already Determined by Refs – AP Reports

The ESPN/ABC sports family remains firmly committed to presenting the very finest in 2010 World Cup coverage. We consider it an honor to cover what is truly the largest, most exciting, and most meaningful spectacle of sports in the world. Even if it is just a fucking soccer tournament.

2010 World Cup in South Africa v. the All-Valley Karate Tournament (Karate Kid) – the ‘Committee for Who Wins’ Decides

Above: New Jersey vs Okinawa in the knockout round Welcome back to Venuing Voices’ Committee for Who Wins.  Here, our team tackles the toughest of debates each week in a 12 round format.  In today’s debate, we pit the 2010 World Cup — currently raging in South Africa — vs the 1984 All-Valley Karate Tournament. … Continue reading

Blame it on England and Kobe

The other day a friend of mine, while congratulating me for finally getting into the world’s favorite substitute for war, wondered why the hell North America calls it “soccer” as opposed to football, which is what everyone else calls it. “What is a soccer anyway?” Well, friend, I have looked into this one. Apart from … Continue reading