Paul Defeats Mani in Psychic Battle…Also, Spain Wins World Cup

This post originally from www.venuing.com/voices.

It’s understandable that people watching the World Cup on Sunday may have thought that they were watching two European football powers duking it out for a golden trophy on the African continent. In actuality we were all watching a battle that raged across the psychic hinter-realms. The true combatants: Paul the Octopus and Mani the Parakeet. 

Paul had chosen Spain to win, while Mani had chosen the Netherlands. All of their credibility was on the line. It was a battle of the minds and wills of two of the planet’s most intelligent creatures, the players on the field little more than puppets to these masters whims. 

At first things appeared to be evenly matched, though clearly heated. The yellow cards came out early, setting a record for the number of people carded in a World Cup finals game at fourteen. Mani, in fact, let the frustration get to him in a Boondocks moment that ended with De Jong kicking Xabi Alonso in the chest. 

 

YOU WAS TALKIN' ALL THAT GOOD SHIT A SECOND AGO, THEN YOU GOT KICKED IN YO CHEST! YOU EAT A DICK!

Fortunately for Mani, referee Howard Webb only gave De Jong a yellow card, not the red he probably deserved. But later in extra time, Heitinga was sent off after a tackle that gave him his second yellow card. Not long after, Iniesta of Spain managed to score the decisive goal. 

Mani had his chances, but Paul never let down his guard and was quick to react to any lapses Mani found in his mental defense. Mani’s best chance was a breakaway he created with Robben, but Paul was ready, and sent goalie Casillas out to intercept, and Robben’s shot was kicked harmlessly out of bounds. Paul maintained pressure the entire game, most impressively in extra time, when Mani’s mental strength was clearly beginning to wane. Once Mani was forced to have Heitinga ejected to stop one of Paul’s breakaways, things just went down hill for him. 

Though Spain appeared to be the winners of the Cup, it was really Paul who won the battle. This could be the beginning of a new era. What will Paul do now that he has defeated Mani? Will another animal from the psychic animal realm step up to challenge him? Only time will tell. In the meantime, Spain can enjoy their World Cup, and Paul can enjoy free reign over his psychic realm. 

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