Cursed LeBron Travels to Miami

This article originally published on www.venuing.com/voices by YT Crooks.

His Highness King LeBron James I of the Dutchy of Akron announced last night, during an hour long TV special rife with poor dialogue, badly choreographed action sequences, and an entirely predictable ending, that he would be joining Dwayne Wade and Chris “Predator” Bosh in Miami. In Cleveland, a city that now has exactly no worthwhile sports franchises, tears ran through the streets as fans of the Cavaliers cursed God, the Devil, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. How could their savior betray them so?

Cavs owner Dan Gilbert wondered the same thing, but instead of crying about it, he turned to using dark magic and put the “Cleveland curse” on James.

“The self-declared former ‘King’ will be taking the ‘curse’ with him down south. And until he does ‘right’ by Cleveland and Ohio, James [and the town where he plays] will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.”

I was unaware that Gilbert was anything more than a muggle, but I think he will escape any form of punishment at the hands of the Ministry of Magic, as the Cleveland Curse is not yet one of the Unforgivable Curses (though it’s addition to the list is still under debate and has been added to the agenda of the Council for next month’s meeting).

But more than cursing James, Gilbert also promised that Cleveland would win an NBA title before the Miami Heat. Now I’m no mathematician, but I did some calculations, and I came up with the chances of that being true as impossible. Adidas even agreed with me.

In related news, the New York Knicks gave a welcoming party to their newest member, Amare Stoudemire. Sadly the atmosphere was incredibly subdued. Many had hoped that James would opt to save the sport of basketball by coming to the Knicks and reviving the New York team, but it was not to be. I for one am relieved. If Team LeBron had come to New York, I may have actually been forced to care about basketball…and that would have truly been unfortunate.

<!– –>

Advertisements
Comments
One Response to “Cursed LeBron Travels to Miami”
  1. Maruf says:

    I Do not guess LeBron James is ready to favorable participating in Miami. At hand he will not come to pass the leading of the performance and desire boast to share the publicity on other people. He will not be there the soft individual any longer. He’s a insignificant town personality and the towering city willpower demonstrate to happen too much for him. I additionally think with the aim of it is awkward to ensure championship : http://electricitymonitorblog.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: