Running World Cup Diary: England v USA – Nigeria v. Argentina; all day, all day – part 1

Diego el Ganador del Mundo

10:30 am

And we’ve arrived at Mags’ place in beatific Greenpoint…Mags is here with Ms. BarmyArmy, Cool Tom (as distinguished from me), Robby, and more to come.

I’m tardy because I stupidly decided to dribble a soccerball all the way from my apartment two blocks away. To say the least, I got it lodged under a Chevy (sorry, “Chevrolet”).  Sadly predictable.

Argentina’s up 1-nil on a header (I’m told) and the game looks evenly matched, but not flat.

Official count so far:

# bollocks-es: 0
# that’s b***sh**: 1
# fantastic-s: 0
# quality-s: 0
# awkward moments: 0
# beers drunk: 5

-T*V

10:50

Apparently South Korea beat Greece 2-nil this morning.  Hundreds of people across America watched; all of whom were packed into a single cafe in Astoria, NY.

# beers consumed: 8

10:55

Watching highlights.  Argentina should be up 4-nil right now.

11: 02

Argentina are done doing each others hair and are coming out of the tunnel ready  to play another 45 minutes.

11:04

Wait!  Diego Maradona is coaching Argentina?  How did this go by unnoticed by the whole soccer playing world?

11:34

Argentina continues to suck at set pieces.  Maradona continues to entertain.  Veron off, some other striker dude off.  Watch out for a Nigerian counterattack.  Argentina is vulnerable.

# beers consumed: 15

# household appliances destroyed by guests: 2

# hobbit-related jokes at Maradona’s expense: 22

11:39

Incredible save by the Nigerian keeper.  Incredible body and wave on the part of Messi’s hair.  Someone call Hollywood.  This guy is Head and Shoulders material.  At least Selson Blue.

See above: US team coach, Bob Bradley

11:44

Classy move on Nigeria’s part, stealing their entire team kit from Celtic and all.  Looking more and more like –  86th minute – Argentina is playing the clock rather than the match at this point.

11:48

Boooooooooring.  Argentina: currently dicking around with the ball, fantasizing about lathering, rinsing, and repeating in the locker room right after the conclusion of the match.  Nigeria looks gassed and disorganized.  Fans showing incredible resolve and lung capacity, blowing on those stupid kazoo horn thingies for 90 minutes now.

11:53

Game over.  Argentina win in a match that opened up great and wound up a snoozer.  Boo.  Time to listen to Alexi Lalas earn his paycheck, sort of.

# of beers consumed: 15

After several beers and a sensible brunch down the block at Broooklyn Label with Carolyn (USA!) and Andrew (Socceroo, sigh) we’ve returned to the footie party.

2:17

The television ads are getting progressively loud and obnoxious, so we are clearly close to gametime.  Having dissected every freaking element of the upcoming match in the past two hours, ABC is down to having Russell Brand taking up air time talking about Queen and County.  Bleh.  Alexi “Admittedly not a Genius” Lalas just predicted a 2-1 Victory for Team USA.  I figure this thing is going either blowout for Team Q&C or a 3-2 “dude, whattup” sneakaway before-they-release-it result in favor of the good guys.

2:22

Dudes are gathering in the tunnel.  Cool Tom just broke another piece of furniture by reclining on a coffee table while admiring Bob Bradley’s dome.

# beers consumed by party goers: approx 52

GAMETIME

Wait, are those kids the South African national team?  I missed that match yesterday.  Jeez, I thought child labor laws had arrived in this part of the world by 2010.  I guess I was wrong.  Apparently, the people from the previous match left their annoying mini digiridoos for the next crowd to use.  Loved that both the Bradleys were belting out the National Anthem like regional contestants on idol.  Gerrard’s hand was shaking, btw, as he met Bocanegro at center field.  Is he nervous, or just hungoever?

# of bollack-es uttered up to now: 5

2:32

Might not be back til halftime.  Too excited to type.  Besides, having dueling arguments about name pronunciations and uniform aesthetics.

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