Girardi Unveils New Strategy

During their Sunday game against the Blue Jays, Yankees’ manager Joe Girardi got himself ejected from the game when he got in the face of umpire Bruce Dreckman while arguing over the strike zone. This came directly after Nick Swisher was called out on a check swing that was neither a swing nor a strike by Dreckman without any appeal assistance whatsoever from the 3rd base umpire. Girardi rushed out of the dugout to argue his case. The Yankees were down 2-1 at the time with men on 2nd and 3rd. Following Girardi’s ejection, they scored three more runs and eventually won the game 4-3.

Tonight the Yankees face off against the Orioles, and Girardi has said that he plans to get himself thrown out of the game after the first inning. “Clearly my ejection inspired the team,” Girardi said at a press conference. “If this continues to work moving forwards, I plan to be ejected from every game for the rest of the season.”

“I think it’s a controversial decision,” reporter Kim Jones said around bites of a pork chop. “Not quite as gutsy as Jerry Manuel’s decision to forfeit every game after July, but still, definitely out of the box thinking. But if it works, then it’s worth pursuing.”

In related news, Brian Cashman has begun the search for a new bench coach. “If Joe is going to be kicked from every game, we’ll need someone on the bench who can make high level decisions in-game as his replacement.”

The search will take place as a new YES Network reality show entitled “Bench Coach Idol” where fans will compete in challenges such as juggling on a unicycle, couples dancing, and hot sauce chugging. Rumored judges for the show include Hillary Duff, Ozzie Guillen, Gordon Ramsay, Ron Paul, and Optimus Prime. Pedro Martinez has been confirmed as the show’s host.

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