Offseason Blues: Seizures, Debts, Twitter, and 2014!

Feature Story:
The Super Bowl comes to New York (NJ)! 2014 may be the first snowy Super Bowl ever. At the very least it will be much colder than usual. Peyton Manning, king of controlled weather conditions, has endorsed the move, so it must be fair. In related news Tampa continues to bitch that they didn’t get to host their one millionth Super Bowl. *Sigh* Florida.

Shocked by Seizure:
Jeremy Shockey, TE for the New Orleans [that’s “Nawlins” not “New Oar-leanns”] Saints, suffered seizure like symptoms at a team practice on Thursday. It was difficult for teammates to determine that anything was wrong with Shockey initially, as the foaming mouth and bloodshot eyes are pretty normal. But when he began making cohesive statements, they knew something was awry.

Raiders Hound Russell:
First the Oakland Raiders fire Jamarcus Russell. Now they want $9.55 million bucks from him for “being fat and getting his ass cut from the team” as stated in the official memo. Russell’s agent says they will not give the money back as it was contractually guaranteed. The Raiders have responded with threats of releasing Tom Cable from the cage they keep him in during the offseason and sending him on the hunt for the money.

Rapelisberger to Return to Practice:
The Court of Goodell will allow QB Ben Roethlisberger to practice with the Pittsburgh Steelers prior to his 4-6 game suspension at the start of the season. In related news Pittsburgh cheerleaders have gone on strike.

Saints, Vikings Locked in Twitter Showdown:
@Sants, Vikings: LOLerz

College Football Hall of Fame:
The late Pat Tillman is to be inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame.

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