Haden Is Had…And So Are Two Other Guys

Not fooled by slow forty times at the NFL Combine and his pro-day, the Cleveland Browns rely on that old thing called scouting and choose Joe Haden who looked incredibly fast on all the tape. While he may not be a Deion lockdown corner, there are only two currently in the NFL — one is Derrelle Revis and the other I cannot pronounce or type his name but he plays for the Raiders.

Recap: Haden is the best corner prospect in this draft. Corner is a tough position to fill. Cleveland does not have any good players at said important position. By the transitive property (and common logic) this is an excellent pick.

As again I do not type fast enough to get my prediction in (they really need to go back to fifteen minute selections), I must recap on two players in one post. In short, my reaction to the Raiders pick was several expletives and a stubbed toe caused by me kicking a table. Rolando McClain unfortunately is now doomed to a career of mediocrity due to something called Al Davis disease. If he had fallen to the New York Giants his fate would have been much different. Oh, I can dream…

OK, obviously these teams do not have my best interest in mind. The Bills decided to hire Usain Bolt to get their draft card to the commish. A good choice as he is one of the few people faster than CJ Spiller and could get to Goodell before Spiller could attempt to stop the selection. Spiller is headed to cold and snowy northwest New York, where he will join Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson in the Bills backfield, where one of the two stalwarts will probably be traded or jailed before the start of the season to make room for the Clemson product.

Prediction: That prick of a Notre Dame quarterback.

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