The Bills and their Tebow-ner

Earlier in the month, we reported that the Buffalo Bills were courting Florida Gators QB Tim Tebow. This weekend, members of the Bills ratcheted up their offensive to get Tebow into the fold, thus bringing Florida closer to getting rid of him and having some other locale fawn over him.

“He’s gonna make any team he goes to better,” Bills GM Buddy Nix said back in January. “He’s gonna make the people around him better. He demands that, and you’re embarrassed to let him down.” This weekend he reportedly said he “really likes” Tebow. Still unconfirmed is the box of fancy chocolates Nix had delivered.

Former Bills QB Jim Kelly has made no secret of his love for Tebow, either. Last November, he name-dropped Tebow in an interview with USA Today, and has started to strongly lobby for Tebow. Just this past weekend, Kelly had dinner with the man.

“He’s a class act and a great guy,” Kelly allegedly said according to his wife Jill via her Twitter page, reminding us of all the other athletes out there with fair to middling records, but are respected because they’re class acts.

While we’re on it, her Twitter page (not to be confused with porn star Jill Kelly’s Twitter page) is also full of gems like…

Ok, seriously…if u pray&believe that God can do the impossible – why not pray for the #buffalobills? Seriously!

…which seems nice, because the Bills could use all the help they can get… until you read…

God bless you all!

…and really, Mrs. Kelly should learn how to properly appropriate requests for metaphysical intervention. That’s like finding a genie and then wishing for world peace. God’s a busy man. There are only so many hours in the day to make strange and often tragic things happen for no apparent reason only to have to sift through tons of requests on a daily basis without a secretary. Didn’t you see Bruce Almighty? Of course you did.

Former deity Eric Clapton. Clapton resigned his post as God to pursue his dream of furthering the Dad Rock genre. He was succeeded by Morgan Freeman.

Anyway, that Mrs. Kelly and Tebow both seem to have some sort of advertising deal with the Almighty seems to indicate the Bills organization may be a good fit for Tebow. Regardless of outlook on matters of the afterlife, Bills fans are hoping that the addition of new blood like Tebow will bring the organization back from the dead (see what I did there?). Nobody likes rooting for a team that sucks; just ask Lions fans.

But how do Florida folks feel about Tebow potentially fleeing the sunshiny peninsula? To glean some insight on the subject, I went to a reliable source for commentary on matters such as these: select comments two family members left on my Facebook page after I posted that last piece I wrote regarding Tebow.

Mike: [Tebow] will go in the 2nd or 3rd round… There is A LOT better talent out there than Teblow!!

Max: if i were the dolphins i would take him. i mean they finally have a running game. and at best tebow may pan out. at worst he’ll bring ppl to the stadium. if ur gonna have ronnie brown throw it why not tebow? but like usual they wont get him. which is why i hate them.

Mike: That would be the biggest mistake for the dolphins!!! Dolphins have Henne (which is a future all star), Thigpen (which is an ok 2 string), and the most accurate qb EVER to play the game Pennington. We are set at the qb position. What the dolphins need is #1 receiver! Dez Bryant, Tate, or pick up T.O. If we have to. The defense this year is going to be incredible!!! The big tuna is building a rock solid Defense!!

Max: mikey you keeping thinking that way….. mind you we could have gotten drew brees a few years back but we went for culpepper. that is DOLPHIN mentality. i didnt see anything from any of the QBs they currently have that says superbowl.

Mike: Because you are looking at dropped passes. Ask anyone who REALLY knows about football and they will tell you that Tebow is a horrible pick for the Fins. We need a WR!!! And a defensive end and an outside linebacker and a good safety.

Max: lemme know how that works out for ya…..y’know, being a dolphins fan. lol.

And there you have it, folks. What do you think?

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