Tools of Ignorance – Red Sox Spring Camp Training Report from 33 Problems

TOI Spring Training Addition.

Is it strange that I cared that the Red Sox had a no-no going thru 6 innings in Monday’s game against the Cardinals? I sent a text to my brother and to Venuist and got the following responses:

“Dude, Its March”
“Awesome. Thank god that counts”

Sox went on to lose that game 6-5.

This got me thinking… in a game where we count everything, and then argue about what we’ve counted and the best way to analyze everything we’ve counted, I could not for the life of me find a list of no hitters for spring training. Wouldn’t that and perhaps hitting for the cycle make it on to some kind of list? I know there was one last year when the Tigers couldn’t get any good wood against the Marlins. Jim Leyland said after the game that he had never seen one in all the years he’s been in the game (48 and counting). If anyone can find out how many no-no’s comment below or send me an email at I bet it happened more often than you’d think.
***Post 1945 only please, that’s when spring training became what is most like today, plus who cares if Beanpole Macalllen pitched a perfect game against the Birmingham Hayseeds in March of 1901 in one of the Southwest Territories.***

I know this is supposed to be an A.L. column but…
The Met’s have “Prevention & Recovery” signs displayed in their spring training clubhouse. How hilarious is this? Not exactly “Play like Champion Today” or “I want to thank the good Lord for making me a Yankee”. Prevention & Recovery!!! Well, I’m inspired. Why not just “Easy There Fella, You Don’t Want to Pull Anything”, or “It’s Just a Game, not Worth Getting Yourself Hurt”. There have been some reports that team trainers have it on their shirts. What would you pay for a “Prevention & Recovery” Met’s trainers shirt? Let’s start the bidding at $150.00. This is only slightly better than their marketing campaign “We Believe in Comebacks” plastered all over the city. It seems that the only way to get fired from the Met’s organization is to take off your shirt and challenge your players to a fight. Ownership needs to learn when it’s time to let people go, this includes the trainers, the PR people, and Omar Minaya.

Back to the A.L.
The Twins are screwed. Nathan is a very underrated closer, despite shitting the bed against A-Rod in the ALDS last year. If he needs Tommy John, the best case scenario is Billy Wagner, meaning he’ll be closing games for the Braves in two years. Like everything else for the Twins you have to consider how this is going to effect the Joe Mauer negotiations. I’d get him under the knife right now and try to find a good value on the market. At least then you can salvage the “Nathan will be back mid-season next year” argument to try and convince Mauer to stay.

The only way the Jeter contract story will be at all interesting (we’ll have to hear about it ad nauseum no matter what) is if number 2 has a bad year. Lets say he bats .265 with 10 long balls or misses 6-8 weeks on the DL with noticeable decline at short. Now things are getting interesting. Anything short of that it will be much ado about nothing all year until he re-signs with them. Personally I’d love for him to go somewhere else, not because he scares me every time he’s at the plate (he does), but because it would be a huge story and it would give me the opportunity to buy the Jeter jersey of whatever his new team is and wear is EVERYDAY around New York.

There is growing concern in the Orioles’ front office that All Star Second Basemen Brain Roberts might not be ready for Opening Day. Andy MacPhail, president of baseball operations for the O’s said, “You have to be concerned now, what if he isn’t ready”. Really? REALLY? If Roberts is ready, the O’s should finish 4th or 5th in the Division. If he is not, then the O’s will have to settle for 4th or 5th in the Division. I believe the reports that the farm system and growth based trades are about to payoff for the Orioles, but the more optimistic reports still have them at least a year away from competing in the A.L. East. I’d give him all the time he needs.

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