Geico forget the caveman, Jason Heyward has cometh….

I guess with baseball gearing up Gieco needed a new caveman. I would say pitchman, but this guy will soon be a nightmare to pitchers everywhere. Jason Heyward of the Atlanta Braves has insurance adjusters hanging out in the parking lot over the right-field fence at the Braves spring training facility. It seems the problem is his long ball is magnetically attracted to the metal they are using in cars these days, and his swing has baseballs hoping they get scuffed before he gets up to the plate.

There is a good chance you will get to see this phenomenon in the making playing in right-field next to my boy Melky with the Braves on Opening Day. If not wait a month or two, he’ll be up soon after belting 17 homers and posting a .323 average across three minor league levels at 19 years old last year. One year older and 20 lbs. of muscle heavier, Gieco’s new Captain Caveman will be using his wooden club to scare the living shit out of opposing pitchers for years to come, and until netting is installed over the fence in right-field he’ll be smashing windshields as well.

Captain Caveman

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