Hey, Olympics!: or, One Last Obligatory Figure-Skating Post

The Women’s Figure-Skating Freeskate (or “Long Program” as it used to be called, which actually makes a lot more sense) was last night…and really it was a bunch of yawn. Kim Yu-Na skated beautifully and perfectly cementing herself as Ice Goddess of Olympus. Mao Asada, Kim’s only real competition, tripped and allowed Kim a less-contested gold as she came in with a solid silver. And Joannie Rochette got the tear-jerking bronze.

But where was the drama?

I don’t know about you, but I watch figure-skating like most people watch Nascar: to see someone crash and burn. But no one did, and the three skaters who were ranked 1-2-3 at the beginning of the night finished in their same positions.

On top of that there was no sideline drama like there was in the Men’s, with Plushenko sniping at Lysacek and trashing-talking the sport in general about not awarding his quad-ness. I mean I wasn’t looking for a lead-pipe to someone’s knee or anything, but some drama queen bad mouthing would’ve been nice. Maybe some leaked gossip by Asada about how Yu-Na has been slutting it out in the Olympic Village, or some iPhone pics of Rachael Flatt and Mirai Nagasu making out in a bar submitted to Facebook by Yu-Na.

Hell, there wasn’t even a judging controversy!

For a “sport” that’s followed as much its performances as it is for its drama, last night proved totally devoid of any excitment, on the ice or off. Once Kim Yu-Na had proven that she is in fact Kim Yu-Na there wasn’t really much else to watch. All I want from my ice-skating (in lieu of someone falling repeatedly) is some off-the-ice entertainment that doesn’t involve someone’s mother dying (which doesn’t at all qualify as “entertainment” anyway)…is that really so much to ask?

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