MLB Spring Training Cometh! : 33 Problems’ “Tools of Ignorance”

You have got to be effing kidding us...

Free Agent Madness:

Felipe Lopez fired super agent Scott Boras. Sorry Johnny, Lopez is the best free agent still on the market (.310/.383/.427 with a 7.6UZR/150 as a second basemen).

At 29, still unsigned this late in the off-season, with Boras seeming more concerned with creating a false market for Johnny Dangerously, I’d fire him too. Here’s hoping the Mets grow a pair and pull a Mike Lowell and sign him before they move Luis Castillo, that way they can be in on the Wang sweepstakes [[Editor’s note – woops, too late]].

West Coast Stuff:

The Lincecum signing is good for both parties. It avoids arbitration for two more years, locks in a great young talent long enough to see if he’ll be able to maintain this level of performance in order to merit the big time bucks after the 2011 season. There is little doubt about Lincecum’s talent, but with delivery like that plus his age I’m sure the Giants don’t want Dontrelle Willis type on their hands or payroll.

People Who Care About Baseball Stuff:

Damon. If you’re offered two years just sign with the Tigers. You’re not going to be able to compete in next years Free Agent pool of outfielders any better and please grow you’re hair and beard back. Sincerely, People Who Care About Baseball.

East Coast Stuff:

Meet the Mess: What are the Mets doing? Seriously. I want to know. No catcher, First Basemen, 5th starter, bench. Will Mr. Met be setting up for K-Rod?  The best move the Mets made this off-season has been lowering the center field wall from 16 feet to 8. You think this had something to do with Jason Bay?

Olympics — that’s what they’re called, right? — Stuff:

Has the biggest story of the Vancouver games already happened? I hope NBC keeps showing the Nodar Kumartashvili crash in slow-mo because I don’t like sleeping.

Is Shaun White slowly turning into carrot top? And do I have to root for him because he’s an American cause if so that’s really going to be a test for my patriotism.

American League [[see – “Designated Hitter”]]  Stuff:

If you get hurt and miss work, it won’t hurt to miss work. Frank Thomas retired. The Big Hurt will be in Cooperstown and will serve as a touchstone for every DH argument once he’s in (I know he played a lot of first, but he played it badly). A little strange he went back the White Sox to make the announcement considering his history with Ken Williams. Whatever.

Thomas was great, you never changed the channel or left the room while he was at bat. Even in his last Oakland and Toronto days you knew he could punch one out at any time.

National League [[see  – “the Marlins are always competitive”]] Stuff:

I’m telling ya the Nationals might not be that bad this year. Look, the Mets, Braves, and Marlins all took a step back. So, sans the Phillies (who could go to the World Series again) the division is weaker. They added some quality players and have wunderkid Strasburg perhaps cracking the rotation this year. The future is brighter than you think in the Capital [[Editor’s note 2 – but definitely not in the Capitol; those morons are screwed]].

Boston [[See — “major league baseball as religion”]] Stuff:

You know a city is a little overboard when the day the equipment truck leaves for spring training its treated like a holiday. I’m looking at you Boston. Truck Day!? Really? They are really squeezing every dollar they can out of the Nation up there aren’t they.

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