Papelbon’s Brain, Self Confirmed to be Separate Entities – AP


Above: Papelbon (top right) pictured with brain (bottom left)


Fresh off the wire.

Red Sox closer and Mississippian Jonathan Papelbon’s brain exists as a separate entity from his body. This was first revealed (reviled?) during an interview with ESPN’s Gordon Edes.

When asked about a new contract with Boston Papelbon stated, “Heck yeah, as far as what me and my brain are thinking.” This goes explain a lot about the extroverted pitcher. You have to wonder if Papelbon and his brain were on the same page when he let his dog chew up ball to the deciding game of the 2007 World Series, when he called Manny Ramirez a cancer in Esquire, when he said he should close the 2008 All Star game in Yankee Stadium over Mariano Riveria, or when he blew a 2 run lead in game 3 of the ALDS to end the Red Sox season.

The story is fake, but the quote is real.

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