Things that are Acceptable/Unacceptable


The Venuist is proud to announce that our blog is debuting it’s first “feature”: Acceptable/Unacceptable…

offensive beards

Sure, while these offensive linemen's beards may strike you as, well, offensive...but as they represent a show of solidarity among an oft-overlooked and seldom-praised breed of professional sportsman, the beards are in fact highly "acceptable" (see more below)

The premise is simple.  Some things we find acceptable and some we do not.


1. Johnny Damon‘s (just a day at the office, ho-hum) usual postseason heroics.  

2. A-Rod bigging up his teammates (including the suddenly light-hitting Mark Teixeira) and The Venuist kind of believing he like, said it and meant it, maybe sorta.  Let’s just say that, for the moment, I am giving Mr. Hudson the benefit of the doubt.

3. Rajon RONDO.


Hot New Trend!!! Upside-down shamrocks.


1. More moronic pokings-of-the-bear courtesy of the NYC newspapers, natch, I mean tabloids.

[[Note: T*V would like to add an “acceptable” sub note here to this general “unacceptable” rating. It is more than acceptable to hate on Pedro Martinez. Fire away. Half the fun in being a sports fanatic is locating, and then permanently latching on to a seed of hatred for a particular individual (whom you’ve never met, has never jeopardized your health or your welfare, and has never made eyes at your significant other) and/or squad of 5-53 men who just happen to dress in matching laundry at least once a week (in the unfortunate case of Tennis, since there are no teams, and thus no coordinated sets of matching laundry, you are granted special permission to also hate the officials and line-judges). Yanks fans have been hating Pedro for an aeon and I’m glad to see that they get one last go-round. God bless, and I hope you get the privilege of hating him until the day you die with a cold, black (sorry, Naval Blue) NY tattooed upon your heart. But do not, do not, pretend that when Mariano Rivera walks onto the field tonight at Yankee Stadium that he will the only pitcher in the borough who belongs in any reasonable discussion of the “greatest person who ever picked up a pitchable object and threw it at somebody competitively ever, ever, ever.” Because, sorry Mo, there will be not one but two men who deserve to be in that discussion. And the other one is the scrawny dude from the mango grove in D.R. And tonight, he’s starting for the Phils – deal with it.]]

2. Seemingly all of the Boston Celtics deciding to wear head-gear of some sort.  Jesus.  It’s like they were invited to a slumber party by the local girl scouts.   

[[Note: in pro sports, only pro hockey players and professional players of the following categories are allowed to show unity in silly ways that go beyond their obvious uniform dress codes without looking like d’bags – 1 -bullpen pitchers (e.g. tall socks, matching underarmor shirts, silly titanium choker necklaces, uniformly filthy caps, etc)  – 2 – NFL offensive lineman (and really, this only applies to them growing beards at the same time) – 3- actually, the first two were it.]]

3. Eric Mangini.  He’s always unacceptable, this is nothing new and there is nothing new to say about his wholly unacceptable status as a human being and/or head coach (finally, New England and New York/Tristate Area fandoms unite!) but I was forced to read about him earlier re: the Browns organizational shakeup and it pissed me off just to see his face in print.  


Above: the most unacceptable thing in the world today other than Eric Mangini's continued presence therein.

Prediction Sweeps:

Two Outcomes (or at least, storylines) I Can Foresee for tonight’s game: Andy Petite (who’s, in fact, a very large man) authors his retirement party and walks out of the Stadium tonight one last night, drenched in cheap bubbly and humming along to the tune of “Simply the Best” – OR – Pedro builds on his cool, workmanlike performance in game 2 with another cool, workmanlike 6 innings, tips his cap to the crowd with the smuggest of smiles and kicks back as a quieted full house of Bronx faithful murmur the wisdom of pitching CC in game 7 on his fourth consecutive start with short rest (yes, I just said that – and it will happen if the Yanks don’t punch out the Phils tonight).

Conclusions…Hate to say it but T*V’s money (if T*V had the money to place) is on the little big man from Texas and the Bombers tonight.  Why? – because Teixeira’s due which bodes ill for the Phanatic and his ilk.


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